The quiet art of standing up for yourself

and discovering the tender rebellion in saying no.

Being labelled a "push-over" was a title I wore uncomfortably for years. Standing up for myself seemed like an elusive skill, one reserved only for those bold enough to claim their space in the world. I would shrink my voice, smooth things over, say yes when I wanted to say no. Perhaps this sounds familiar to you? can you relate?

But life has a way of growing you. Through its twists and turns ~ through heartache, change, motherhood, love, loss, and all the quiet recalibrations in between. I’ve slowly come to understand what it really means to stand tall in my truth. And it’s not in a way that’s brash or sharp, not a fight to win or a wall to build. It's a quiet, steady claiming of self. It’s about being graceful, loving, and strong, all at the same time.

Learning to assert yourself ~ gently, clearly, and without apology ~ is an art form. It’s a way of honouring your needs while still being kind. It’s how we build healthy relationships, protect our energy, and live with a deeper sense of peace. However, by no means have I become an expert at this. But I’m get better. Slowly. Surely. And with more confidence. I feel proud of the steps I’ve taken to get here so far ~ it feels extremely liberating!

If you often find yourself putting others before your own wellbeing, letting things slide to keep the waters calm, or struggling to utter that small but powerful word ~ no ~ you’re not alone. But perhaps, just perhaps, it’s time to soften into your strength.

Here are a few heartfelt reminders for the gentle ones learning to take up space:

Reflect on your generosity.
It’s beautiful to be giving. But give too much, too often, and you can lose sight of where you end and others begin. I often found myself doing things for people that they could’ve easily done themselves (thinking I was being helpful) when really, I was emptying myself. There’s grace in stepping back, in letting others carry their own weight. It teaches them to honour your time and energy, too.

Master the subtle courage of saying no.
Saying no doesn’t make you cold or unkind, it makes you honest. Think of it as a loving boundary, a sacred yes to yourself. If something doesn’t feel aligned, trust that instinct. The more you honour those inner nudges, the more you’ll notice how natural and freeing it becomes to protect your peace.

Release the habit of over-apologising.
Not every truth needs cushioning. You’re allowed to take up space, to speak clearly, to disagree from a loving place. Instead of folding yourself smaller, stand firm in your feelings. They are worthy of being heard ~ and without explanation or guilt! It takes practice, but it does get easier.

Let your body support your bravery.
Sometimes, your voice trembles. Sometimes your heart races. When fear of what others will think starts to threatens your truth, start by shifting your body first to change your physical state. Move, breathe, walk, swim, dance. Come back to yourself. These simple, grounding acts of movement can awaken a quiet confidence that words alone can’t summon.

Set boundaries like love letters to yourself.
Boundaries aren’t walls, they’re doorways to deeper connection. They teach others how to love you well, and remind you that your needs matter, too. Begin to protect your time, your creativity, your tenderness and you would encourage your loved ones to do. This isn’t selfish, it’s essential.

Ask for what you want, even if feels incredibly hard.
Sometimes we tiptoe around our desires, fearing rejection or discomfort. But ask yourself: what’s the worst that could happen? If you can live with that answer, then dare to get out of your comfort zone. Often, the very act of asking shifts everything. It whispers to the world: I believe I am worthy of this.

And friend, you are absolutely are worthy of what you desire!

You don’t need to be loud. A whisper can carry just as much power when it comes from a place of truth. To stand up for yourself is to step back into your own skin. To say: I matter. My needs are real. My voice belongs.

With love, Eleanor xxx