How I found my style again postpartum
All my tips for reclaiming confidence post-baby.
Bernie is almost 7 months old. How is that possible already?!
I'm emerging from the tender cocoon of those early postpartum days, where time loses meaning, sleep is fractured, and everything feels both impossibly slow and fast all at once.
And while I’m still rather sleep deprived (hello 6 month sleep regression!) the haze is beginning to lift, and I’ve been feeling the urge to rediscover who I am again, not just as a mum, but as a woman who loves to dress well.
Looking back, I see myself blurry-eyed and uncertain. Quietly navigating the beautiful, bewildering terrain of new motherhood again - with a fourth babe, and this time, many years later (my eldest daughter Bella is almost 17!).
I want to reach back in time and give that version of me the gentlest, warmest hug. To whisper in her ear: You are doing so beautifully. You are allowed to feel lost and confused. This is a season, and you will find yourself again, piece by piece. And here I am now, beginning to find those pieces. One of the ways I’m doing this, is through the simple, deeply personal act of getting dressed each day.
After giving birth, your body becomes something new. It’s not the body you remember, and it’s not yet done changing. It feels soft in places that once felt firm, and continues to shift in ways that feel unfamiliar. Foreign, even.
But here’s the truth I’ve been sitting with…
Growing, birthing, and feeding a child is a privilege.
Every stretch mark, every sag, every ache, these are not flaws, but markings of a life well given. A body well used. Proof of love in motion.
This body, your body, is magnificent. It deserves reverence. It deserves tenderness. It deserves to be dressed not with shame or scrutiny, but with care. With softness. With honor.
Four babies in, and this time around an older mum, slower, perhaps a little wiser - I haven’t bounced back in the ways I have in the past. And yet, when I soften my gaze, when I quiet the critique, I see something else entirely.
I see strength. I see resilience. I see generosity.
This body has carried me through so much. It created, and is continuing to nourish another human being. It has held, rocked, fed, and soothed. When I think of all it’s done - not just for me, but for my children, I feel a deep, soul-shaking gratitude.
With saying all this, rediscovering your personal style postpartum still feels hard. There’s the sheer physical exhaustion, the long hours at home, and the practicalities of breastfeeding, not to mention the reality of inhabiting a body that feels different every week. So if you’re feeling confused about how to dress, you’re not alone!
But with time - and sleep, glorious sleep - clarity starts to return.
For me, finding and wearing clothes I feel good in has become an act of self-care.
I wouldn’t call myself the best-dressed or most fashionable person I know, but I am someone who cares, who enjoys experimenting and curating outfits that bring joy. I do it for me. To feel like me. Because when I feel good in myself, mentally and physically, I can give my best to my family.
So here’s what’s been helping:
1. Let go of the “someday” clothes
Physically remove anything from your wardrobe that no longer fits, or won’t for the next 6 months or so. Clothes that mock your current body have no place in your sacred space. You are worthy of dressing well now, in this exact season. Choose softness, not shame.
2. Prioritise comfort (without sacrificing style)
Comfort doesn’t have to mean daggy track pants, unless that’s your thing (in which case, go for gold!). For me, I’ve never been a trackpant kind of gal. I’ve gravitated toward wide-leg cotton trousers, soft dresses that move with me, easy but timeless style shirts I can nurse in. Look for natural fibres, easy silhouettes, and clothes that make you feel both held and free.
3. Embrace embellishments
A silk scrunchie. A pair of pretty earrings. A nice big hair clip to tame the chaos for when you haven’t had time to wash it. These tiny additions can completely shift the feel of an outfit. For so long I overlooked accessories, but they’ve become a quiet positive in my sartorial repertoire. They let me nod to the woman I am now - romantic, creative, playful. Even if I’m just heading to the shops with a baby on my hip.
4. Find low-effort beauty and wellness rituals that work for you
These are adjacent to style, but they matter. A tinted lip balm or cheek tint makes all the difference for those times when you couldn’t possibly imagine putting on makeup. A roll-on essential oil or rose-scented mist spray that makes you smell like the woman you still are underneath it all. Rituals don’t need to be elaborate - they just need to be wonderfully yours!
5. Consider how you can return to your style roots
I have styles that I return to year after year - a favourite button-down, a well-worn pair of jeans, a soft wrap around or cropped cardigan, a silky slip-style floral dress that makes me feel instantly more myself. For the most part, there’s a cohesive thread to my preferences, needs and desires. Postpartum style doesn’t always have to be a reinvention. Perhaps, more of a quiet homecoming! Consider what styles and fabrics you know work for you.
6. And lastly, I hear from so many of you that you’re not quite sure what your personal style is, or what you want it to be. And honestly? That’s such a beautiful place to start. There’s magic in the not-knowing, because it means you’re wide open to discovering something that feels truly you.
If this sounds like you, I’d love to invite you into my online course, The Art of Dressing Well. It’s designed to help you uncover your unique style in a way that feels fun, inspiring, and deeply authentic. You could also begin by creating a mood board on Pinterest, playing with your "style words," or even working one-on-one with a stylist (such as yours truly).
The heart of it all….
At the end of the day, I want my clothes to work for me, not against me. To honour this beautiful, hardworking body - not punish it. To remind me of who I am, and the woman I’m becoming, not the one I was before!
Style can feel frivolous in early motherhood, but to me, it’s anything but.
It’s an act of claiming space. Of choosing beauty. Of loving myself, even in the mess and relentless tiredness of it all!
So if you’re in this tender season too, I’m sending you the biggest hug. And if you're standing in front of your wardrobe wondering where to begin, may this be your permission slip to start now. To build slowly. To dress with kindness. To do this loving act of kindness for you!
If this resonated with you, I’d be so grateful if you’d share it with another mama in your world who might be touched by reading. Because we all deserve to feel beautiful, no matter what season we are in!
Ps: I have a postpartum style edit to share, too! but I thought I would save this for a seperate post. You can expect this to arrive in your inbox in the next week or so.
With love, Eleanor xxx